Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions, Vol. XXVII

  • Added:  2 months ago
  • My neighbor asked me to water his plants when he was on vacation, but I'm pretty sure they all died in that fire.

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Comments: 129

  • Darsana Bloodmourn
    Darsana Bloodmourn Month ago

    I LOVE YOU STEVE!!!!

  • pop5678eye
    pop5678eye Month ago

    Even before starting to watch, how many of you knew he was going to be drinking?

  • Chris Chris
    Chris Chris Month ago +1

    Lol Hilarious!!

  • GardeBlaze
    GardeBlaze Month ago

    This was one of the better ones. XD

  • Uthman Baksh
    Uthman Baksh Month ago

    I love you, you slut!

  • Alresu
    Alresu 2 months ago

    I find it astonishing, that Colbert was able to bring his audience to cheer, when he drinks in public^^

  • Grigoria Velichkova -Trance Gori

    HAHHHA love when he drinks on the show hilarious!lol

  • Dragon Curve Enthusiast

    Why are they actually called midnight confessions?
    I get the confessions part, but what about the midnight?

  • Curious Khan
    Curious Khan 2 months ago

    Awesome one:
    " I won $500 at a Stephen Colbert look alike contest,I came in 3rd".
    The great one:
    "Last time I checked,bottles were made of glass".

  • Viscera Trocar
    Viscera Trocar 2 months ago

    I love how they're counting these. It's like it's keeping tally of every "sin" Stephen has committed.

  • Beth
    Beth 2 months ago

    Celli are the best!

  • Max Johnson
    Max Johnson 2 months ago

    "as a practicing Catholic, I miss going to confession"

  • Tucker Bowen
    Tucker Bowen 2 months ago +1

    you'd be surprised how often celebrities lose their own look-alike contests. static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/13/132947/5300973-9243820396-53005.jpg and yet people still say Clark Kent's glasses wouldn't work.

  • The Brothers Blue
    The Brothers Blue 2 months ago

    "That's not my dog."

  • Jay
    Jay 2 months ago +1

    For anyone who came here for the doggo, 2:56.

  • LiPOTO
    LiPOTO 2 months ago +1

    they should just cut out the whole "you won't tell anybody right?" part. Pure cringe.

  • Clara Cassells
    Clara Cassells 2 months ago

    The jokes in this one were stronger than the past segments!

  • mr k
    mr k 2 months ago +1

    Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confefe

    • Mosho Choci
      Mosho Choci 2 months ago

      mr k ✌


    • mr k
      mr k 2 months ago

      I am developing a new vocabulary. Out there on the front line, bro...


    • Mosho Choci
      Mosho Choci 2 months ago

      mr k Covfefe * Use spell check, it has been included to American- English vocabulary.


  • Ryan Booth
    Ryan Booth 2 months ago

    Holy crap, there have been 27 of these things?

  • Dy T
    Dy T 2 months ago

    Only Midnight Confessions I like is the song by The Grass Roots.

  • Barbara Plaskett
    Barbara Plaskett 2 months ago

    So much reminds me of Stephen Wright

  • gaamatsu4dewin
    gaamatsu4dewin 2 months ago

    You can't hide the smell of toilet on your phone.

  • Tough Cookie
    Tough Cookie 2 months ago

    Boy needs to watch The Keepers and dial this skit back.

  • ALAA ALMADADHA
    ALAA ALMADADHA 2 months ago

    who is using the litter box?

  • lorie
    lorie 2 months ago

    Cute dog in the thumbnail + Stephen Colbert? You know I'm clicking!

  • JMagdalenaCLove
    JMagdalenaCLove 2 months ago

    u are a sunday worshiper! we Jews keep the one only true Sabbath. friday night sundown to saturday night sundown. its in the 10 commandments of moses to REMEMBER the sabbath day so u r violating Gods law by not keeping the correct sabbath. dont u research and see for urself or u just go with whatever pays u. fucking creeps

  • Gilbert Jacobs
    Gilbert Jacobs 2 months ago

    Imagine the pope is actually on the other side one of these days. Best confession night ever!

  • Chasey Gentile
    Chasey Gentile 2 months ago

    I don't get the fire joke???

    • AdaylnTheLifeOf
      AdaylnTheLifeOf 2 months ago

      Chasey Gentile I think it was that his neighbor went on vacation and called to tell him to water his plants but the neighbor's house had burned down while he/she was gone.


  • Shimohi Kagami
    Shimohi Kagami 2 months ago

    I wrecked the original 2,666 likes with my 2,667th like. What'cha gonna do about it?

  • Kain
    Kain 2 months ago

    I'm a simple man I see a doggo I click.

  • dfunkt
    dfunkt 2 months ago

    even though these are funny, i must dislike them because at their heart they promote religious superstitiousness. religion is humanity's greatest threat to survival.

  • Pwrinkle Johnson
    Pwrinkle Johnson 2 months ago

    Speaking of 1 drink a night. I used to go to the bar after saying "I'm just going to have 1 drink." Then have a pitcher with a straw in it!

  • Eitan Zemel
    Eitan Zemel 2 months ago

    Dwight, you ignorant slut

  • Realstuff Steve
    Realstuff Steve 2 months ago

    breaking news once again so much is happening hard to keep up. all those who witnessed John podesta giving Hillary's concession speech not. have decided to commit suicide and Mass. Hillary Clinton was asked about this moments ago. well I have to apologize Hillary stated I should have given the concession speech to all my supporters in The Help of leading to healing of the American electorate and for the parties to mend hard feelings and that we shall all stand together as true Americans period and continue the fight four Democratic principles. working together in Congress to bring about things that are important to you and the American Democratic Party we will work with this president as is our tradition as American citizens and bring about the changes necessary that we have campaigned on in spite of the fact of losing the presidential election I take full responsibility period but not all is lost our party and our cause is strong as ever before will continue the discourse and debate and bring about our agenda to Washington in the midst of this loss we had still much to do and let's not forget 2018 midterms 2020 we shall once again fight the good fight and finally win the White House. so stay positive and upbeat and continue your hard work towards the goal of bringing about Democratic policies to Washington DC thank you God bless you. the reporter asked Hillary Clinton immediately well why didn't you not say these things the night of the election it would have helped the country amend its hurt and disappointment in your loss. well I guess I've been selfish most of my life I was pissed and I got drunk and I sent John podesta out there I just don't give a fuck anymore really and all those motherfuckers that voted for me fuck you you didn't do your job I hope you all rot in hell I was supposed to win the election you motherfuckers half of you didn't even vote and half of the illegal stayed home. what the fuck I hope they do commit suicide they're worthless pieces of shit anyway yes we in the Democrat Party have murdered over 65 million potential Democrats plus their children potentially their children since 1973 sadly we have lost the numbers of Democrats we need without cheating in the elections and bringing illegals in and having dead people vote. when asked if Hillary would run in 2020 she stated unequivocally you goddamn right I will. It's my fucking turn to be president Barack Obama promised me. then she abruptly said I must go I have to take a shit my Depends or wet and the shit is oozing down my leg as we speak and yes in case you're wondering Chelsea Clinton is Webb hubbell's daughter.

  • Realstuff Steve
    Realstuff Steve 2 months ago

    breaking news breaking news Dennis Rodman now under investigation for colluding with North Korea sources say allegedly Dennis Rodman had sex with Kim on on the dinner table with other dead corpses laying nearby

  • Realstuff Steve
    Realstuff Steve 2 months ago

    breaking news just in Megyn Kelly Under Suspicion for colluding with Russian president Vladimir Putin having spent more than 20 hours alone with him and several locations without being accompanied by any other staff or American presents as Witnesses to their discussions. unnamed sources confirm Megyn Kelly is under investigation along with President Donald J Trump. also during one of the tape interviews which was not aired imbc has been leaked. where Megyn Kelly asked Vladimir Putin if he had an opinion on American politics conservative or the far left American Progressive democratic Party. When asked this question Vladimir Putin paused asking Megan Kelly how do you say how do you say in English? bat bat bat batch is it that shit batshit crazy batshit crazy Megan continued yes batshit-crazy. the interview was immediately discontinued. NBC is now being sued for allowing this leak to occur and four the truth to be told about the American Democrat Party far left. stay tuned for more breaking reports Megan also unknown sources stating she may be charged with a crime of colluding with the Russians having spent so many hours alone with Latimer Putin and other top Russian officials. more to follow this just in breaking there is now confirmed Megyn Kelly and her co-conspirator are now Under full investigation by Robert Miller molar special counsel Oliver Stone is now suspected of being a Russian coluter trying to overthrow undermine American elections. Hillary Clinton now is Vindicated it's all true folks period she will now be president of the United States As Trump will be impeached and proof that she actually did win the election we've all been lied to Donald Trump is not the president of the United States but Hillary Clinton is. stay tuned for more breaking news

  • IdioticPlatypus
    IdioticPlatypus 2 months ago

    Stephen seems very Catholic this season...

  • maame serwaa Awuah
    maame serwaa Awuah 2 months ago

    Stephen Colbert and John have a bromance

  • Riley Hulick
    Riley Hulick 2 months ago

    hopefully he also says "you slut" to his dog more than to his wife

  • stonescorpio
    stonescorpio 2 months ago +15

    "Forgive me, audience, for I have slut-shamed another man's dog."

  • Alex Landherr
    Alex Landherr 2 months ago

    I wonder how the confession booth looks from the audience? Plus I'd really like to hear Trump's confession, preferably recorded on a pee-proof device.

  • God :-O
    God :-O 2 months ago +2

    I forgive you.

  • MeganKoumori
    MeganKoumori 2 months ago +17

    "I came in third."

    John Oliver won first place.

  • Pritom Sarker
    Pritom Sarker 2 months ago

    he is funnier than colbert

  • Sheryl Holland
    Sheryl Holland 2 months ago

    He clearly needs one or more cats, stat!

  • Eileen Schuller
    Eileen Schuller 2 months ago +1

    Hilarious whether your a currently practicing Catholic (cause you never get it right), an ex-Catholic, or a non-practicing Catholic (all the perks of a practicing Catholic less the stress and some of the guilt).

  • Alexander Leonidas
    Alexander Leonidas 2 months ago +7

    My favorite one...

    "I love you... You Slut!" XD

  • CarpalBark6
    CarpalBark6 2 months ago

    That Charlie Chaplain reference tho

  • Chevalier Bosniaque
    Chevalier Bosniaque 2 months ago +4

    This man was on a roll last night!!

  • Vagrant Vagabond
    Vagrant Vagabond 2 months ago

    Puppers! :D

  • Mario Krastanov
    Mario Krastanov 2 months ago +1

    Did Stephen say "Apfel Store" at 2:18? :D

  • Joris0815
    Joris0815 2 months ago +2

    2:00 That one happend to Charlie Chaplin for real

  • Filip Jęcz
    Filip Jęcz 2 months ago

    We are so close to the number XXX...

  • Super Smash Dolls
    Super Smash Dolls 2 months ago +38

    "Stephen Colbert Gets Drunk And Slut-Shames His Dog"

  • SilentSubscriber
    SilentSubscriber 2 months ago +3

    We are so close to midnight confessions XXX

  • Boris Raguza
    Boris Raguza 2 months ago

    Hey Stephen, if you ever read this probably not. Why is that chick in the band always in every damn evening looking like she is bored? Or doesn't want to be here, would be funny if he asks her :P

  • Adrian Bustos
    Adrian Bustos 2 months ago +11

    I love how he easly believes the audience not telling anyone his sins, with a simple and naive "Great :)"

  • Nina Pauwels
    Nina Pauwels 2 months ago

    Second court cow ltkmq thank prohibit portfolio travel.

  • blaine kelley
    blaine kelley 2 months ago

    hahahahhaha!! perfect

  • Abnormal Wrench
    Abnormal Wrench 2 months ago +1

    3:00 slut shaming? Triggered!

  • LilMissFlirty101
    LilMissFlirty101 2 months ago +3

    midnight covfefes

  • 123haninhk
    123haninhk 2 months ago +5

    "You slut." 🐶

    • Otter Bundy
      Otter Bundy Month ago

      123haninhk: I love how happy the dog looks until Stephen calls it a slut... Then it looks sad. 😂


  • Betta66
    Betta66 2 months ago

    Stephen Colbert lookalike contest? Oh, that was a Charlie Chaplin reference, wasn't it?

  • Starkweather
    Starkweather 2 months ago +12

    Sometimes I just post things to see if it gets likes. If it doesn't, I just give it likes from my 247 other accounts.

  • nanka2002
    nanka2002 2 months ago

    loved the video. thanks.

  • Jim's videos
    Jim's videos 2 months ago

    The plants dying in a fire bit was probably inappropriate considering the recent fire in London.

  • Mahadev Bibil
    Mahadev Bibil 2 months ago

    What breed was the dog?

  • Ihnini
    Ihnini 2 months ago

    That lookalike contest situation happened to Charles Chaplin once

  • Lorna Ginette Harrison
    Lorna Ginette Harrison 2 months ago +75

    Oh damn! Stephen slut-shaming that lovely dog!
    I too suffer the emotional pain of an unfaithful dog. I'm trying to overlook his infidelities to make our relationship work, but he'll brazenly lick anyone's face, even complete strangers, right in front of me. He could at least do it when I'm not looking!

    • lesleyanna
      lesleyanna 2 months ago

      My dog asks permission. I say no.


    • yan ma
      yan ma 2 months ago

      Lorna Ginette Harrison I


  • CLHLC
    CLHLC 2 months ago +2

    I would pay big money for a Jon Batiste - 'Midnight Confessions' album. With different songs for different situations in life, where you have to confess.. you know... stuff....

  • 정지호
    정지호 2 months ago +24

    Trump messed my language pretty badly. Everytime I here words starting with 'co' I expect covfefe

  • Caroleann Mc
    Caroleann Mc 2 months ago

    According to my dog, if that's not his dog then HE'S the slut! (Just like I am when I call in to see my friend Michelle and come home smelling of all her dogs)

  • Ismael Aguilar
    Ismael Aguilar 2 months ago

    I'm a slut woof

  • Raj Dabholkar
    Raj Dabholkar 2 months ago +19

    You can actually hear him open the wine bottle at 1:02 XD

  • Ashcool
    Ashcool 2 months ago +3

    Why does he always say "I'll be right back" soon after the disclaimer and close the window before opening it again? Anyone knows?

  • camelshit
    camelshit 2 months ago +36

    Here I am, trying to get to bed not too late (again), - and up pops Stephen with a cute little dog by his side!

    Aw, not fair, Stephen, not fair..


    So cute though ;)

  • pyrotechNick
    pyrotechNick 2 months ago +210

    YOU SLUT!

  • Luke Wathen
    Luke Wathen 2 months ago

    Clicked because of the dog

  • Disappointed Turtle
    Disappointed Turtle 2 months ago +39

    Is the joke about the look-alike contest a reference to Charlie Chaplin?

    • Wes
      Wes 2 months ago

      No. Carl Chaplin. Easy mistake.


  • yashiWinchester
    yashiWinchester 2 months ago +95

    This is a great segment plus Stephen always finds a way to drink during this every time.

  • vforvijay25
    vforvijay25 2 months ago +159

    Midnight Covfefe !

    • Popcultureguy3000
      Popcultureguy3000 2 months ago

      vforvijay25 I was half expecting this bit to be renamed this.


  • Jeff the Frog
    Jeff the Frog 2 months ago

    Why didn't he call the dog a bich?

    • Ashcool
      Ashcool 2 months ago

      Because people would be expecting him to, and he didn't... That's the joke in this case.


  • Hylian Ticipated
    Hylian Ticipated 2 months ago +7

    Look at what the chic in the 3rd row, 2nd to last seat says, after Colbert asks if the audience won't tell anyone. 0:46

    • KambEight
      KambEight 2 months ago

      Hylian Ticipated "Of course we will"?


    • KambEight
      KambEight 2 months ago

      Hylian Ticipated "Of course we will"?


    • Kwame Nyarko
      Kwame Nyarko 2 months ago

      Christ, how did you manage to catch that?


  • Gregory Eisenman
    Gregory Eisenman 2 months ago

    So funny - Happy Friday!

  • TwoGunToast
    TwoGunToast 2 months ago +1

    then why are you ALSO advertising cigarettes in your commercial Truth people?

  • Professicchio
    Professicchio 2 months ago +1

    I wonder if, by contrast, he says 'you slut' to his wife more often than he does to his dog.

    • Jeff the Frog
      Jeff the Frog 2 months ago

      Professicchio no, his wife he calles bich.


  • david githu
    david githu 2 months ago +26

    I would hate to be Stephen's confessor, i would laugh even when he makes a real confession.

  • David Marroquin
    David Marroquin 2 months ago +284

    the look a like contest confesstion is actually a reference to Charlie Chaplin who did the same thing and won third place.

    • Niklas bla
      Niklas bla 2 months ago

      its not a reference they just stole it.


    • Tucker Bowen
      Tucker Bowen 2 months ago

      and yet people still say Clark Kent's glasses wouldn't work


    • dkamouflage
      dkamouflage 2 months ago

      To be fair--he didn't go in costume. So actually, 3rd place was pretty good, all things considered. ;)


    • Kevin Dasilva
      Kevin Dasilva 2 months ago

      I don't know if it is only pary of the Paul is Dead story, but nonetheless I think McCartney actually participated in a contest like this as well!


    • Rachel Trainor
      Rachel Trainor 2 months ago

      That is awesome! What a cool tidbit! Haha!


  • IXCat
    IXCat 2 months ago +195

    Him drinking and eating during midnight confessions is one of my favourite running gags

    • 4c1dr3fl3x
      4c1dr3fl3x 2 months ago

      You could almost say that to non-catholics/observant jews, that joke was.....passed over.


    • Roma Jerzycka
      Roma Jerzycka 2 months ago

      IXCat well, i have to catch up with those confessions!


    • IXCat
      IXCat 2 months ago

      Roma Jerzycka Yeah, i've seen him eating everything from a sandwich, ice cream, donuts to a bucket of chicken wings or french fries


    • Roma Jerzycka
      Roma Jerzycka 2 months ago

      IXCat he eats too?


  • Richie Rich
    Richie Rich 2 months ago +156

    What if the audience doesn't forgive him?

    • olive4naito
      olive4naito 2 months ago

      Richie Rich Then twood be actual life and not church 🤧 Tis a cute doggie though. Tis a cute doggy.


    • Lakshay Modi
      Lakshay Modi 2 months ago

      *DUN DUN DUN*


  • eddyk
    eddyk 2 months ago +468

    This was a good one.

    "last time I checked, bottles were made of glass'.

  • Kp Skills
    Kp Skills 2 months ago +118

    Who else loves midnight confessions

  • Hunter Isaac
    Hunter Isaac 2 months ago +3

    Golden.

  • mora vine
    mora vine 2 months ago +1

    twice😚

  • LEMMY K. IS GOD
    LEMMY K. IS GOD 2 months ago +2

    This qualifies as my next Sunday confession. Thanks Stephen. ⛪ 💒 ✝

  • Vardhan Shrivastava
    Vardhan Shrivastava 2 months ago +26

    damn so many running gags.. not complaining!

  • Darnell Wilson
    Darnell Wilson 2 months ago

    lol

  • Mahnoor A
    Mahnoor A 2 months ago +84

    Who else rewatches the videos on YouTube even though u have watched it live?😂

    • Nahuel Martínez
      Nahuel Martínez 2 months ago

      Ahh I wish I was that guy. Stephen's show doesn't air here in Uruguay so I have to watch everything online


    • Stone Cold Steve Autism
      Stone Cold Steve Autism 2 months ago

      i'd rather fist myself than have to watch this garbage twice. srs


    • Peter Cheung
      Peter Cheung 2 months ago

      Ashcool I am. the book guy here


    • Ashcool
      Ashcool 2 months ago

      To see if the camera caught you?


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