ALIEN COVENANT SUCKS!! - Spoiler Free *Rant* Review

Comments: 85

  • mondomacabro major
    mondomacabro major 2 days ago

    Mess of a film that shits on all the previous films - who ever wrote this was a moron and the director is not far behind ....

  • Nuka Cola Archive
    Nuka Cola Archive 11 days ago

    Fuck you covenant haters you could all kill yourselves this was way better than the others. Plus, if you all killed yourselves, there would be a smaller percentage of idiots on this planet. You should all have your tiny dicks cut off so you cant fuck more idiots to make another generation of faggots.

  • The UFO Experience
    The UFO Experience 1 month ago

    Alien, Aliens, and the 4th one were good. Prometheus....well...I kept thinking a lot of a crew were stupid. If the Franchise would have taken the direction that the Dark Horse Comics series took with the Alien franchise it would have been great. The original Alien vs Predator Comic book series was awesome. The film...not so much.

  • Rob Lawford
    Rob Lawford 1 month ago

    Great review :) These prequels will never tarnish Alien for me though. I first watched it in '82 on it's network premiere and watched Aliens back in 1986, so I've had decades and hundreds of viewings to formulate my own theories. Also, these prequels come across as very expensive fan films, and no one takes them seriously either. Just wait 20 years and another director will create a new prequel series to replace the current one. God I hope so!

  • Sir Ratch509
    Sir Ratch509 1 month ago

    the game Alien Isolation did a better job capturing the original trilogy

  • Daniel Filippus
    Daniel Filippus 1 month ago

    So true. Felt like I was watching a senile mans work.

  • tim yo
    tim yo 1 month ago

    good review, i share all the same feels

  • Bloods
    Bloods 2 months ago

    After watching it one thing that bugs me most is that how safe David was from aliens. That goes against all logic of aliens who want to destroy everything in their path to wipe out possible threat. If their excuse was that stupid android knows how to design alien which won't attack him that's beyond retarded and unconvincing.
    So basically they made Aliens bounch of friendly vaginas + Horrible cgi mostly during DAYLIGHT!?
    I didn't felt any threat and adventure from 1st person. All I saw was unconvincing story told from 3rd person.
    I also came to conclusion that Ripley wasn't just most badass female hero but most badass hero period.

  • Gapsule
    Gapsule 2 months ago

    Any chance you'll review/analyze the other Aliens movies?

    I'm curious as to what you liked about Prometheus and what movie was the worst.

    And since you mentioned Chris Carter how about the recent Xfiles reboot retcons and new seasons?

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 1 month ago

      It's a good idea. I'll definitely do a video regarding the new X Files. Darin Morgan's contribution certainly deserves some discussion and attention.

  • VaughnJogVlog
    VaughnJogVlog 2 months ago

    If it's a Hollywood film that opens outside the USA first, well that's a warning.

  • Chillz McKillz
    Chillz McKillz 2 months ago

    after a second viewing of covenant i have determined that i love it. the story is far superior than anything the original four movies have to offer. i wish he would just continue the story as if those films did not exist.

  • Darth Sidious
    Darth Sidious 2 months ago +1

    Why can't they just find someone who can write a decent script? I think the writer must be a retard.

  • Sauron Merciful
    Sauron Merciful 2 months ago

    to say that a movie like covenant sucked and then compare to the thing from 1982, shows how amateur you really are . so you think ridley Scott is going to use stan Winston's puppets when this movie is totally different to alien , why not compare apples to oranges . avp was shit , to say this movie was shit shows what a fucking dick you really are.

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      Sauron... be merciful ;P Come on, how is this movie totally different to Alien? It's an Alien film, directed by the guy who directed Alien. Saying they're like apples and oranges is quite a stretch. That being said, you're right, it's way better than AVP. That's a different level of bad.

  • Alex Maverick
    Alex Maverick 2 months ago +1

    The alien was straight out of fucking Toon Town in this movie. It was like Attack of the Clones level bad CGI.

  • Bloods
    Bloods 2 months ago +1

    For me aliens was psychological scifi horror. You had no clue about anything and you rooted for characters to survive especially Ripley who is still most badass woman. Then they turned into scifi drama and all horror and thriller elements completely vanished. I haven't seen this movie but if it has anything to do with prometheus I'm gone.
    I'm ok with scifi but they should start different franchise because this is not what I expect from Alien.

  • jhon doe
    jhon doe 2 months ago

    RS is from Hollywood and right now Hollywood has an agenda to promote their, spirit cooking, satanic values, ideology. people need to wake the hell up movies don't entertain they brain wash

  • Thomas h cullen
    Thomas h cullen 2 months ago

    Alien Covenant is the case being made for hierarchy that doesn't need equality to be proven as moral which is the replication of the original absence of the original state of reality. 1979 Alien was the mistake of a metaphor believing in itself, and now Alien Covenant is the rectification of that mistake, symbolised by David. David's a villain because he opposes hierarchy by replicating hierarchy, yet the philosophical depth of the story is that replicating hierarchy as a way to oppose hierarchy was always necessary. Lastly, Alien Covenant is an allegory of the need to replicate freedom from anti. Original freedom was the mistake of self-awareness, freedom from anti was the mistake of replicated absence, and so the solution is the third state of replicating freedom from anti

  • agochoa
    agochoa 2 months ago

    I love the "CCCC-Come on" reference to the Aliens arcade game at the beginning.

  • Sigueme1
    Sigueme1 2 months ago +1

    Movie should have been named DAVID and friends. End of story

  • hybrid8theory
    hybrid8theory 2 months ago +2

    I couldn't have said it better. Alien:Covenant was a very bad movie except for the cinematography and Fassbender's eerie performances. Literally... that's it. Everything else stunk. It certainly appeared that Ridley drank the modern day koolaid of film making. No smart engaging story filled with clever imagination, clueless characters, cg everywhere, plot holes the size of Mars, no score, bad acting and everything else that makes most films nowadays just plain ick.
    I think thrillers done well in recent years was Arrival, Edge of Tomorrow, and Fury Road. These films for the most part get it right. They have a lot of smart engaging stories filled with imagination and character archs I cared about. They got my imagination soaring and sent my emotions on a thrill ride.

  • Space Jockey
    Space Jockey 2 months ago +1

    Covenant's crew was dumb therefore the movie sucks.
    Nostromo's captain Dallas was fucking idiot (including Lambert) letting the alien get inside the ship, therefore Alien sucks.

  • OoElectric4EveroO
    OoElectric4EveroO 2 months ago +3

    Ridley got very lazy making this movie. He should just retire already. Let Cameron make another one....

  • Rabbi Avner Echoberg-Shekelstein

    Are you saying Dan O'Bannon was a smart man? I see no evidence. I actually read his screenplay for 'Alien', which was called 'Star Beast'. You can tell from the title it is uninspired tiresome rubbish. Read it and see for yourself. It is atrocious. It does, however, have elements that were interesting, involving the alien. But even that is not his work. Both the idea of an alien that impregnates a human and the idea about the acid as blood came from his buddy Ronald Shusett. Then the producers took the screenplay, changed pretty much everything, and gave it to a team of talented people, like Scott, Giger, and Goldsmith. They made it into a B movie that looked like a true A movie. O'Bannon was bitter and insisted they credited him as the screenwriter, but in all honesty, the screenplay they went with was not his, and if he can't see just how much better that version is, he is even dumber than I thought.

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      I don't think you're taking O' Bannon's sense of humour into consideration. Had he directed Alien, it certainly would have been a sillier film, and likely not as good. But it would have been intentionally silly, rather than unintentionally - like Covenant.

  • Joe Davino
    Joe Davino 2 months ago

    Scott has become like George Lucas just starting to fuck up the franchise thank good Disney brought Star Wars

  • Joe Davino
    Joe Davino 2 months ago +2

    I just saw it an hour ago and don't waste your money it had few good scenes is really slow has male robots kissing and the story just sucks n makes no sense at all why do they have to keep fucking around with classic movies who gives a fuck were they came from the aliens are awesome

  • Alex Lee
    Alex Lee 2 months ago

    Couldve done so much more with the Alien lore but it got ruined by David killing off everyone before asking any questions and now the focus of the plot is on his god complex. Way to ruin Prometheus and the entire Alien franchise

  • Gen Katagiri
    Gen Katagiri 2 months ago +2

    I was really looking forward to this and watched it opening day and was so disappointed.

  • john smith
    john smith 2 months ago

    Quiet correct!
    Nobody gives a flying piece of Alien shit about the back story. When Fox and Ridley Scott embarked on this prequel trilogy, you could feel as if the explanations weren't solid enough about how the Aliens came into existence in the first place, then all the hard work developing the Alien world was for absolutely nothing!.

    Nobody REALLY needed a completely naff back story. They've made it so complex and convoluted that even God would have a fucking spiritual intracerebral hemorrhage of the brain just trying unravel this pile of Alien shit.

    Well its a done deal now. Scott has another film in the works, and obviously doesn't give a flying piece of Alien shit what fans say, he's quite happy to carry on shitting over a decent franchise that's now been wrecked by the very man Fox hired for the first film back in 1978.

    Its all quite fitting really.

    Scott has truly lost the plot. Fox were only too willing to play along for the big bucks. No risk. No real thought, and alot of nonsensical story that doesn't really make sense. How much was John Logan paid????

    Shame I wasn't a Fox exec. Had I read the script, Logan would of been paid $1 dollar.

  • krissymf
    krissymf 2 months ago +2

    This is an excellent review! I have to agree with everything you say.

  • Steven Grayston
    Steven Grayston 2 months ago +1

    The FInal act of Covenant is what ruins it. it is literally just the film Alien but compressed to 10 mins. it even dies the same way how you supposed to watch Alien after that.

  • Steven Grayston
    Steven Grayston 2 months ago +1

    Crazy how this CGI Alien still looks as fake as the one in Alien Resurrection 20 years ago.

  • David M
    David M 2 months ago

    1 and 2 are the only ones that counts. the rest doesnt excist.

  • UrboyCrazy
    UrboyCrazy 2 months ago

    Even Prometheus is better than this stupid Alien Covenant movie. Alien Covenant is the worst Alien movie of the Franchise

  • Massey's Movie Madness
    Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

    Hey sexy people, I'm putting out many reviews so if you dig this break-down, hit the shiny red subscribe button. Many thanks and enjoy the vid. George.

  • rob morris
    rob morris 2 months ago +11

    Did you not see how this movie messes up the others Covenant takes place 18 years before Alien so how did the crash ship in alien have a cargo of eggs and a dead Engineer that was fossilized, the hole lets make movies before Alien was a stupid idea they clearly did zero thinking because not only does Covenant mess up the others it also mess Promethues up how or why did the Engineers have a carving of an Alien if they didn't exsist yet.

    • Joe Davino
      Joe Davino 2 months ago

      rob morris exactly what me n the boys said first thing when we walked out it just was a stupid mess

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      Great comment :)

  • Bryce A. Perk
    Bryce A. Perk 2 months ago

    Totally agree, good review.

  • Lu Pank
    Lu Pank 2 months ago

    you are stupid

  • No you
    No you 2 months ago

    fucking 5 years waiting for this movie and i get to hear from brits that it sucks ass before it even comes out in the us...

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      Haha. Sorry about that. You still might love it. (And Ridley Scott is English, which may have something to do with the release.)

    • THEremiXFACTOR
      THEremiXFACTOR 2 months ago

      I'm living in asia, it came out on the 11th here. It is pretty poor. Sorry you have to hear all the criticism before release day :(

  • Sázhe M. Epifanne
    Sázhe M. Epifanne 2 months ago +4

    I totally approve of this video. Watched it yesterday. Had great expectations, although I knew from browsing Youtube beforehand that it wouldn't be a classic (we are in a cultural downspiral!). However, I thought it would be entertaining as a movie, if not as an Alien movie. It ended up making me take a drastic point of view about Ridley Scott or whoever is responsible, ultimately, for the final decisions that made this movie be what it is. It is an irrelevant movie, first of all! It has none of the Alien style, atmosphere, tone, terror, futuristic mecanical world that is menacing and dark! From the very beginning I realised it would be a much poorer experience than even Prometheus. And it was! Yet, it could have been a much better movie than even the first Aliens, if only the ones responsible for this truly wanted or needed it enough, judging by the excellent technology at their disposal. You can see the great quality of the cameras and other scenic factors that are used in this film, which was not available to the same guys during the 70's. And they did a better job then! That just goes to show that putting togheter a miriad of parts doesnt make a WHOLE, Doesn't compensate for the lack of SPIRIT and presence of mind of the director! Money corrodes the artistic intent and reason of being. What an irrelevant movie resulted! Appeals to the greater public (because that is what brings the revenue), which turned this theme into a diluted one! There is none of ALIEN here. It is like watching Spider Man 98'!
    From south Brazil

  • BillyT800
    BillyT800 2 months ago

    Nice review sir, and 100% agree.

  • Veldtian1
    Veldtian1 2 months ago +2

    The whole thing was a demoralizing dehumanizing experience.

  • ZadfrackGlutz Zesozose
    ZadfrackGlutz Zesozose 2 months ago +1

    SPOILER ALERT: Director Diddily Squat, the man who took an Alien and made it not an Alien.

  • Mike Thomas
    Mike Thomas 2 months ago +1

    Excellent review. I could not agree more. I have just got back from this and should have kept the tenner in my pocket.

  • Mike Thomas
    Mike Thomas 2 months ago +21

    Watch 1 and 2 and forget about this movie

    • Madeline Monahan
      Madeline Monahan 2 months ago

      Mike Thomas and Prometheus too

    • Phineus Mikey
      Phineus Mikey 2 months ago

      alien3 is still a great movie, it's Resurrection that killed the franchise.

    • Gapsule
      Gapsule 2 months ago

      Alien 3 altered Ripley's character, made her incompetent, and regressed her development. It also made the 2nd movie pointless if not also the 1st.

      It killed the franchise.

    • Nevsack63
      Nevsack63 2 months ago

      Wait, I thought Alien 3 was still a good movie, though not as good as the 1st or 2nd ??? Hell Ripley is in Alien 3.

  • Photono van Lichten
    Photono van Lichten 2 months ago +15

    Ridley Scott is not the creator of the Alien-story. He was the director, which is kind of overrated. This credit should go to the real creator Dan OBannon(Story/Screenplay) and H.R. Giger(Original Creature Design). Good that you mention it. Good Point in this review!

  • James Casey
    James Casey 2 months ago +9

    Things that ruined this movie for me:

    - No depth or explanation given to the engineers, who or what they are- or why they seem to be both at space age in high tech and stone age in utterly low tech- all wasted in the storyline where they only appear in the movie for a brief moment- No reference to how they are linked to humanity and seems the whole search for human origin theme was pointless and unanswered and save for the black goo, so was properly explaining the alien origin beyond dangerous nose bogeys that david was tinkering with.

    - Utterly laughable idiocy of the newly appointed captain at the eggs which fassbender is openly telling him have needed a living host in as many words, especially considering he had just shot a neomorph dead and was aware this new alien life was hostile and dangerous.

    - Repeated scary movie idiocy when after losing crew members to the neomorphs attacks, people still decide to wander off alone to wash in an open entrance temple barely hours after being attacked, or sit around without guns, or have a shower with loud music no weapons and ignore loud ship alarms and critical announcements after half the entire crew dies on the planet.

    - Cast Characters not at all surprised in anyway at all when seeing for the first time this planet with extraterrestrial life in the form of trees and plant life save one who sees 'corn'.

    - Where did the alien deacon go ? Rendered completely pointless.
    What were the engineers running from in prometheus.. also kind of unanswered and pointless too.

    - Shaws escape in prometheus also rendered pointless, and her fate not very well explained or how David (a robot) loved her yet killed her.

    - STILL no link to LV426. Thought that was the whole point of prometheus and this movie. No link to the engineer space jockey in the chair in the previous alien movies with the engineer ship full of xenomorph eggs, not black goo, which is utterly confusing because xenomorphs and those full xenomorph eggs didn't exist until David genetically created them from the goo, yet on LV426 was a dead engineer in an engineer ship with davids xenomorph eggs- BUT all the engineers were already dead before xenomorphs were ever made by david.

    - Unconvincing CGI aliens that 20 plus years after the likes of the Alien, Aliens films- simply do not compare or scare the same at all.

    - A bunch of 2 dimensional or unmemorable human characters as the crew who also have no real depth, little purpose in the movie so much so Im cannot recall one of their names- compare that to the individuality of higgs, hudson, vasquez and the crew of aliens or the first alien film and its a massive step down in storytelling quality-- ironically its Fassbenders robot performances that are the most human performances to connect with in thought-- until that awful savagely cringeworthy ultra cheeeeeeesy line at the end "dont let the bed bugs bite" I mean fucking really...?

  • Mike Wang
    Mike Wang 2 months ago

    If Ridley Scott has a great script, he can deliberately use the similar computer equipment (with DOS) from alien (1979), especially since this is a prequel to it. It can still be a great movie. But he gave the film great look, but no brain. By the way, creation is not just "DNA modification." If David wants to create, he has to bring something into existence out of the void. What he does is "innovation," which is not always "creation."

    David uses Earth insects for his experiments. Obviously, not only wheat but also insects are imported into that planet (I believe there is trade connection between Earth and Engineers’ home planet). It is a lack of imagination. This level of intelligence is not capable of dealing with philosophy.

    THEremiXFACTOR 2 months ago

    The chestburster... oh dear. That was CGI awfulness

    THEremiXFACTOR 2 months ago +5

    Good review. Couldn't believe how much of the creature effects were done digitally. So bad. Of course there are many other problems here.

    • THEremiXFACTOR
      THEremiXFACTOR 2 months ago

      I knew they would rely on CG a fair bit. But pretty much every shot of the alien creatures was digital, and not even at a very good standard. Practical effects are essential in horror. I can't even be bothered to go into all the script issues etc

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      Totally, I'm working on the extended review with spoilers now. Will be up tomorrow :)

  • X E L A S O M A
    X E L A S O M A 2 months ago

    Lol about Ridley's eyesight, haha!!

  • Mike Wang
    Mike Wang 2 months ago

    Oram: David, are we eating extraterrestrial omelet tonight? So many weird-looking eggs here.
    David: Of course, Oram. Huh ... could you please place your face 20 cm above that egg?
    Oram: Like this?
    David: Yes, thank you ... Are you in any way related to Homer Simpson?

  • tom dean
    tom dean 2 months ago

    for me, i enjoyed both of ridley scott's recent alien films. i would of liked to known a bit more about the engineers but i like the evolution of David's character and his story line. not a movie critic so i take these movies as is and enjoy the ride.

    imo the next film, alien awakening (probably the awakening of Daniels & Tennessee from cryosleep) will probably have elements of neill blomkamp alien 5 & aliens(1986), ie a war film... David vs Weyland-Yutani Corporation

  • Blazing_Fox
    Blazing_Fox 2 months ago +4

    Totally agree on the CGI bullshit.

  • Zx Spectrum
    Zx Spectrum 2 months ago +2

    Place your fingers on the shaft... blow in the hole... Ill do the fingering!

  • Chillz McKillz
    Chillz McKillz 2 months ago

    i disagree completely. the story with david is really interesting.

    • Chillz McKillz
      Chillz McKillz 2 months ago

      wow...i can't believe the ragefilled comment i left. i am gonna see the movie tonight. after reviewing the original alien quadrilogy recently, i believe that prometheus is much more interesting and ultimately is a way better film than any of the four. i think prometheus should be the start of a whole new story arc involving david and his creations.

    • Bryce A. Perk
      Bryce A. Perk 2 months ago

      Judging by your comment "Chillz McKillz" I doubt you are much of an objective thinker yourself.

    • Kamil C.
      Kamil C. 2 months ago

      Looks like drunk babble about creation has impressed someone. Both movies are total crap.

    • Massey's Movie Madness
      Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago

      Hey man, if you can convince me that it's good I'd be happy to hear it. I'd love to love this film.

  • Ignacio Cuevas
    Ignacio Cuevas 2 months ago +1

    very good review, quite objective. I was wondering what to make of alien covenant , and this video nails all the elements that makes it somehow a let down.

  • literallycaneven
    literallycaneven 2 months ago +2

    You're right, puppetry gives an organic feel. Also with too much info, it's like in Predator 2, the mystery of the clan made it larger than life and AVP ruined it. Same with Resident Evil, Wesker being evil but mysterious made it seem he was highly capable and his endgame was unclear, but RE5 ruined it by showing he was unstable and his endgame was insane. Less is always more, the studios need to learn how to game or else these franchise's brand equity will keep getting trashed. :)

  • Michael Freedman
    Michael Freedman 2 months ago +10

    The aliens looked awful in it.

  • nosferatu488
    nosferatu488 2 months ago +7

    the scene where the captain puts his face in the alien egg after he clearly saw monsters eating the face off of people.that scene was the point the movie lost me,in addition to that was the scene where daniels cooks pancakes and a couple having sex under a shower after almost the entire crew got killed by aliens.

  • Massey's Movie Madness
    Massey's Movie Madness 2 months ago +3

    Apologies for the 'click bait' title. I assure you there's more work, nuance and constructive criticism in the actual review. Enjoy!


    • X E L A S O M A
      X E L A S O M A 2 months ago

      It was a good review mate. I've done a hit on this film on my channel. Yours was very concise and clear actually.

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